Lather, Rinse, Repeat.
That's what it says on shampoo bottles.
Ironically, its how life is too!
I've been going through a fair bit the past few months,
some of it almost duplicating events of the past two years of my life.
Which is a big part of why I've not written.
An excuse, I know it, but its true!
The desire & need to write have been there,
but other things took precedence.
I started struggling with anxiety & panic attacks shortly after ending my marriage.
Not sure why,
I was the one who chose to end it,
but I had them none the less.
Here I am two years later,
medicated.
Anti-depressants,
since starting on them I've had no major anxiety or panic attacks.
However,
I have noticed times recently,
where if I were not medicated,
I'd have a full blown attack.
My entire body gets hot,
top of my head to the tip of my toes,
this wave feeling comes over me, tingling,
I can't really explain it,
its just an odd feeling like something isn't right.
I guess its the feeling I got as a little girl,
I felt like this whenever I was going to get in trouble.
Fear.
That's what my anxiety is, FEAR!!!
Cool, never knew that til now!
A whole bunch of shit fell apart in my world AGAIN,
a lot of it repeating itself,
causing me to have this feeling overwhelm me.
I've gotten through the issues...
Stronger,
without real crisis.
I managed!
Maybe that's why it happened again?
To show me that I am strong,
that I have developed the skills to cope with things.
Things that just two years ago, caused me to fall apart!
I wish I'd seen this as clearly at the time,
because then it wouldn't have felt like my world was falling apart!
That's what it says on shampoo bottles.
Ironically, its how life is too!
I've been going through a fair bit the past few months,
some of it almost duplicating events of the past two years of my life.
Which is a big part of why I've not written.
An excuse, I know it, but its true!
The desire & need to write have been there,
but other things took precedence.
I started struggling with anxiety & panic attacks shortly after ending my marriage.
Not sure why,
I was the one who chose to end it,
but I had them none the less.
Here I am two years later,
medicated.
Anti-depressants,
since starting on them I've had no major anxiety or panic attacks.
However,
I have noticed times recently,
where if I were not medicated,
I'd have a full blown attack.
My entire body gets hot,
top of my head to the tip of my toes,
this wave feeling comes over me, tingling,
I can't really explain it,
its just an odd feeling like something isn't right.
I guess its the feeling I got as a little girl,
I felt like this whenever I was going to get in trouble.
Fear.
That's what my anxiety is, FEAR!!!
Cool, never knew that til now!
A whole bunch of shit fell apart in my world AGAIN,
a lot of it repeating itself,
causing me to have this feeling overwhelm me.
I've gotten through the issues...
Stronger,
without real crisis.
I managed!
Maybe that's why it happened again?
To show me that I am strong,
that I have developed the skills to cope with things.
Things that just two years ago, caused me to fall apart!
I wish I'd seen this as clearly at the time,
because then it wouldn't have felt like my world was falling apart!
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