Going back to my "Filling My Well" blog entry,
I look at the rather lengthy list of adjectives & I think,
WOW...
that person sounds like a good person...
49 wonderful characteristics,
49 beautiful things!
22nd on the list is strong.
I know I'm strong,
I feel it.
I mean a weak person would have given up,
would have stayed in an unhappy marriage.
I chose to do the hard thing,
I chose to pick me over everything else.
By choosing the path I did,
I fell apart.
I suppose you could say I hit bottom...
I know that my bottom is very different than someone else's bottom.
Just as my truth is different than anyone else's.
I had to be strong in the moment that I decided to end my marriage.
I'm proud of me for doing so!
I spoke to some friends that have known how unhappy I was for a long time.
They're not surprised that I ended my marriage,
more that it took me so long to do it!
So here I sit now,
on the other side of depression,
feeling like I've hit my own personal bottom,
of course I'm well past that point now.
But I've seen bottom.
I lost a lot I think in that,
Humility, gone.
Pride, gone.
Self-worth, gone.
The thing is though,
in the midst of losing all that,
I somehow found myself.
Oddly enough,
its not at all the me I thought I was in the beginning of it all.
Its a much better,
smarter,
happier me!
I have a contentment in myself that I didn't have a year and a half ago!
I know without doubt that as each day passes,
I learn more about me,
I see the growth within me.
I feel it!
I am strong,
I know that I may not be the strongest person,
but I'm stronger than I was before!
And I think that's something amazing,
I'm kinda proud of me for it too!
It helps that I do have some friends,
very important to me that tell me they're proud of me.
For surviving all I've survived,
for taking the time to do the work,
for making me my number 1 priority!
The dictionary defines the word strength as;
moral power, firmness, or courage
power of resisting force, strain, wear
I don't know that I'm courageous or powerful,
I am me!
Learning to accept me as enough.
Or trying to anyway!
I look at the rather lengthy list of adjectives & I think,
WOW...
that person sounds like a good person...
49 wonderful characteristics,
49 beautiful things!
22nd on the list is strong.
I know I'm strong,
I feel it.
I mean a weak person would have given up,
would have stayed in an unhappy marriage.
I chose to do the hard thing,
I chose to pick me over everything else.
By choosing the path I did,
I fell apart.
I suppose you could say I hit bottom...
I know that my bottom is very different than someone else's bottom.
Just as my truth is different than anyone else's.
I had to be strong in the moment that I decided to end my marriage.
I'm proud of me for doing so!
I spoke to some friends that have known how unhappy I was for a long time.
They're not surprised that I ended my marriage,
more that it took me so long to do it!
So here I sit now,
on the other side of depression,
feeling like I've hit my own personal bottom,
of course I'm well past that point now.
But I've seen bottom.
I lost a lot I think in that,
Humility, gone.
Pride, gone.
Self-worth, gone.
The thing is though,
in the midst of losing all that,
I somehow found myself.
Oddly enough,
its not at all the me I thought I was in the beginning of it all.
Its a much better,
smarter,
happier me!
I have a contentment in myself that I didn't have a year and a half ago!
I know without doubt that as each day passes,
I learn more about me,
I see the growth within me.
I feel it!
I am strong,
I know that I may not be the strongest person,
but I'm stronger than I was before!
And I think that's something amazing,
I'm kinda proud of me for it too!
It helps that I do have some friends,
very important to me that tell me they're proud of me.
For surviving all I've survived,
for taking the time to do the work,
for making me my number 1 priority!
The dictionary defines the word strength as;
moral power, firmness, or courage
power of resisting force, strain, wear
I don't know that I'm courageous or powerful,
I am me!
Learning to accept me as enough.
Or trying to anyway!
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